Merry Christmas (and Merry After-Christmas)

Hello and Merry After-Christmas! I've been having a hard time getting past my last blog entry, my Brizzy-goodbye ... I think I just started to believe I didn't have anything worthwhile or interesting to say anymore. But I feel a little guilty and need to move on (obviously), so I'm joining the ranks and will add some holiday thoughts and pictures.

As I do every Christmas, I went to St. George to be with my mom ...

and my brother, Scott:
For years the tradition has been: "You are the Single Ones ... come home for Christmas!" And I've loved spending the holiday with my mom, dad and brother (I can't believe this was already our second Christmas without Dad). This year I felt really, really guilty for leaving Ruth behind in light of the loss of sweet Brizzy ... I felt like a good sister and friend should not leave her to spend Christmas alone (Ruth wasn't given time off from work, so she couldn't go anywhere). But as time went on it felt so important to go home and be with Mom and Scott; I just had to do it. Ruth understood. I don't think it was easy for her and Cowboy to be alone, though. I told her, "NEXT YEAR your job had BETTER let you off and you WILL go somewhere with your sister and I will stay home with the woof(s), if need be." But probably we'll try kenneling the woof(s) for at least a couple of days so we can both leave for the holiday.

So ... I left last Sunday and MISSED all the SNOW (yayyyy!) and instead, got lots of this (a nice rainy view from my mom's backyard):

A little of this (sorry, the picture's not the best -- can you tell I was driving?! shame on me):

And I came home to this (the view from our office parking lot in Provo):

"Sigh." My little California heart cried ... I don't think I will ever, ever, EVER get used to the snow. It's beautiful -- it's fun -- it's ... (let's see, I should be able to think of more positive descriptions, surely) ... it's scary and wet and cold and messy. Oh well!

It was such a sweet, peaceful week for me. This has been a very harrowing year ... one of those extremely painful ones you grow from astronomically but NEVER want to repeat more than once in a decade. So I am grateful for the quiet, the good spirit, the non-busying days that marked this Christmas experience. We ate out a lot (hah! Nance & Sue, I never thought I'd see it but Mom was actually tired of going out after several days! hahahahahaha!) and we watched some videos: "October Sky" (GREAT MOVIE!!!!), "The Polar Express," "Prophets and Presidents," "Hinckley: a Giant Among Men," "The Legend of Johnny Lingo" ... and read books, took naps and yakked & yakked & yakked. (I've often wondered if other families sit around and talk as much as ours does whenever we get together - hah.) We even tried to watch "The Polar Express" a-la-3D ...

But we didn't last more than five minutes -- HAHAHAHAHA! We needed a giant-screen TV I think. We end up watching it "normal" and enjoyed it very much. But the glasses are cool, don't you think? (hehe)

And of course on Christmas Eve we caught one of the best parts of "It's a Wonderful Life" - the last 25 minutes. Is there anyone who doesn't love that ending? Is there anyone who doesn't cry, no matter how many hundreds of times they've seen it? That's gotta be one of the best feel-good movies of all time (thank you, Frank Capra!). I was unfortunate enough to come down with a "small flu" on Christmas Day ... fortunately it wasn't severe enough to ruin the holiday - just strong enough to keep me from wanting to eat much for a day or two (a mixed blessing).

One thing that meant a great deal to us this year: during Christmas Eve we read the Christmas story, which brought the Savior into our thoughts and hearts, and then afterwards Mom read one of Dad's journal entries from a Christmas in our past (in the '80s ... 1987?) and a couple of Christmas-past journal entries of her own. I didn't know this, but Mom has written a journal synopsis of every Christmas ... I think from the beginning of our family! Christmas, and Thanksgiving too. What a surprise - I had no idea. It was touching and uplifting to hear about Christmases in their own words. I keep being reminded of how important it is to write of our experiences. SO important! What we see, what we do, what we feel, in our own words ... priceless.

You know, the gifts were fun and the candy plentiful (oh dear):

but it's the connections that mattered most ... being with my mom and brother, having each of my other brothers and sisters call in (and some of "the grandkids"), hearing that my nephew, Jared & Camilla are pregnant (YAYYY!), talking with Ruth, thinking about my friends (though dear friends, I sorely neglected you this year - I should have called and/or e-mailed, and I didn't, though I thought about it every single day), and pondering my relationship with my Heavenly parents and my Savior ... this is what Christmas was really all about, to me.

My wish is that you had a special, joyful Christmas too, and I hope you felt the love of the Savior and a love FOR the Savior that will propel you into kind acts and good patterns in the coming year now stretched out before us. CHEERS!!

Brizzy's Rainbow Day

It is with great sadness and a broken heart that I have to write what I never wanted to write ... that yesterday we sent our sweet Brizzy over the Rainbow Bridge. His spirit was strong but his body was too weak, and the cancer won. But it didn't win out quickly! It was a fight to the finish, not just by us but by this magnificent, gentle, strong-willed woof. I have learned some powerful lessons from him about strength and the will to keep going, and about loving others so much that you want to stay with them despite pain and difficulties and a body that can't cooperate like it used to.

Sometimes we are lucky to be blessed with special individuals who come into our life and touch us in ways we never thought possible. Brizzy has enriched me in just such a way. He taught me deep lessons about unconditional love and how to really enjoy the quiet, peaceful moments in life. He taught me how to sacrifice for another being and to give up my own wants for the wants of another. He gave Ruth the most sacred gift of all: what it feels like to be a mother. She who is a wonderful soul and who has longed for a family, but who hasn't had the privilege of being married and bearing children (yet), had this wonderful dog to fill the gap. Even though he was a dog and not a human child, Ruth loved him and cared for him as if he were her child. They had a very special bond, those two, and it was a privilege to be a part of it in my small way. Mostly I was the sister and the "alternate mom," which is a pretty good role for someone as independent as I.

Brizzy shared with me the gift of living in the moment and boy did he have a thing or two to teach me about enjoying FOOD! (Not that I needed that lesson - hah.) And best of all, I who have no children either was gifted with the opportunity to love and sacrifice for another living being, and to give up my own selfish wants for the wants of another.

Ruth and I will be okay. Though our hearts are hurting and we will miss him desperately, we are being blanketed in a warm cocoon of love and support from you: our family and friends and ward family, and it is seeing us through. The Lord promised Ruth in a blessing that the Comforter would come ... and He has. But what I never expected is that He would come through feelings of peace but ALSO through the service of all of you. We are both overwhelmed by it.

I am so glad that Brizzy enjoyed what he could right up to the end: Wednesday night he ate two hamburgers PLUS his regular dish of dog food, and Thursday morning he had an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's Peach Ice Cream (he ate EVERY BIT OF IT with gusto) PLUS he ate almost a full bowl of dog food, and on his way to the vet's office he ate a ton of peanut butter. In fact, his final acts were to let us pet him and cry over him and look at us both with big, I love-you eyes, and THEN try to finish off as much of the peanut butter as we would allow him. He ate half the bottle before Dr. Edmonds told us we'd better stop (it could have come back up when all his organs relaxed - euww). So when he crossed that rainbow bridge, it was with his very favorite taste in the whole wide world on his lips -- peanut butter.

I would like to add a quote and a poem I found which I really liked:

"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace." ~Milan Kundera~

THE CREATION

When God had made the earth and sky
the flowers and the trees,
He then made all the animals
the fish, the birds and bees.

And when at last He'd finished
not one was quite the same.
He said, "I'll walk this world of mine
and give each one a name."

And so He traveled far and wide
and everywhere He went,
a little creature followed Him
until its strength was spent.

When all were named upon the earth
and in the sky and sea,
the little creature said, "Dear Lord,
there's not one left for me."

Kindly the Father said to him,
"I've left you to the end.
I've turned my own name back to front
and called you dog, My friend."
~Author Unknown~

Goodbye Sweet Brizzy -- I am so grateful for the knowledge I possess which teaches me that there IS a Spirit World and I will see you again. Run free -- Run fast -- and eat joyfully!

A Briz-man Update - not such happy news

I was going to talk about last week's really enjoyable Relief Society enrichment evening (and I still will) but tonight before I go home I wanted to post an update about our little woof (and mine & Ruth's state of mind(s)).

It's with much sadness (but not with the same overwhelming pain we experienced two weeks ago) I write that once again things have taken a turn and it's now sure that our little Brizzy has cancer. "Sigh." The only reason I'm able to write this without the same deep, raw pain I (and Ruth) experienced a couple of Sundays ago is because the Lord has been so good to us and has allowed us both to come to terms with the possibility that this could be cancer after all. He could have taken Brizzy right after Halloween when it got really bad. And in the ensuing four days it looked as if Brizzy really was ready to go. But nope, that little dog rallied and in the past two weeks he led us to believe he would get well after all. His pain diminished and he perked up and it was so evident he wanted to still be living. So the Lord has allowed this to play out in its own ebb and flow, and because of that we've been given time to accept and even prepare.

What a painful but educational roller coaster we've been on. NOT the kind of education I wanted to have, but it's one I get to have anyway. As much as I want it to be different, I am still grateful for what I have learned and (yes) am experiencing. Isn't that crazy? But true. We went from "What's that limping about?" to "Oh no, he can't walk very well!" to "The front leg is so swollen" to "OH NO, Briz can't walk at all" to "It's probably cancer" to "But he's rallying, and look he's walking again - how could that be cancer?" to "No cancer in the biopsy!" to "Look at the x-rays, I'm 80% sure it's cancer" to "Look how well he's doing" to "If it was cancer it would have manifested itself by now, so I may be wrong and I'm cautiously saying it's 80% NOT cancer" to "Oh no, now the back leg is swelling" to "Now his little face and neck are all swollen!" to "I'm so sorry to tell you this ..." "Sigh."

We both knew. I think as soon as Brizzy's face began to swell and his nose to run, I knew. And as soon as the large lump appeared under Brizzy's chin, in his ruff - Ruth knew. I hope you don't think that our vet has been insensitive or incompetent because he couldn't get an accurate diagnosis right off the bat -- our Little Man is such a fighter he pushed back the symptoms and refused to succomb. Today Dr. Edmonds said Brizzy "had the heart of a lion" and I agree. All through this experience he has fought to get better and has been so patient with Ruth and I as we've administered all kinds of holistic stuff and made him get up and "go poddy" when he didn't want to and petted and fussed and mothered (and probably smothered) him. So patient.

So now ... we wait. He is in minimal (if any) pain right now and we have some STRONG diuretic pills to get all that water out of him, and as long as Brizzy wants to be here and is not hurting, we will do whatever we have to do to make his life comfortable and we will take it one day at a time. Dr. Edmonds said that he will try to get Brizzy through Christmas, but we will see. And we will not let him suffer just to have him a few weeks longer. But you can bet that each day he's here will be relished.

And through this whole traumatic experience, both Ruth and I have experienced so much love and kindness from our wonderful families, our wonderful friends, our wonderful Ward friends. People have been so good to us: no one has mocked our pain, and we have been given phone calls and hugs and pats and blessings and kind acts of service. I don't think I will ever forget the kindness and care we are being blanketed in. I wish I could do for others half of what others are doing for me. I feel very humbled.

Case in point, just from today: Several of the Young Men came over today and for a service project they dug up all those yukky, long stringy weeds that were all over our front yard. We haven't had the time or the tools to get those darn weeds out of that cold ground and they really created a problem for "picking up poops," etc. It may have felt like a simple act of service to those young men, but they really REALLY helped us and I feel much gratitude towards them. And then my friend, Margaret forwarded a YouTube video of the "the Sky Angel Cowboy." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0r_FbARIn8&NR=1. The religious reporters get a little over the top but that wasn't the point of the video - it was the message that God understands our pain because he experienced the death of His own son.

Onward we go - and in the end (if we're lucky) we remember that God is Good, loving someone is worth the pain of losing them, and we never really lose them anyway because we KNOW what awaits us in the Spirit World.

COLORED PENCILS

It's been quite a while since I've written a blog (okay, it's only been 2 weeks but from what I've seen in the Blogging world two weeks seems to be a LONG TIME - haha). So I thought I would jump back into it with a little essay I wrote last night. My BFF introduced me to a WONDERFUL website called jessicasprague.com and Jessica has been holding a fabulous online class called "Stories In Hand." Debbie joined up and at her urging I did too and I am SO GLAD I DID!!! The class is all about capturing the stories of our lives -- the little ones as well as the big ones -- the ones inbetween all the pictures we take to scrapbook or blog. She does it by way of "memory sparks" and I've seen things similar to this before (you know, like the terrific memory jars with pieces of paper asking all kinds of questions about your life) but this goes deeper than anything I've ever seen and to me it seems designed to help you dig deeper into your memories and capture all kinds of things you may never think about otherwise. I love it I love it I love it!!!!!! I haven't put together my prompts and checklists binder yet (heck, all I've done is print everything out because I gave away many of my scrapbooking tools - hahahahaha! I thought I was "going digital" and would never need them again. Little did I know. :-) I hope you're enjoying them, Mom! :-) :-) ). I'll get it put together eventually. I'm notorious for not doing a project through to its completion.

So anyway, for better or for worse, here's my first little memory essay. I'll never be the kind of a writer our friend Amy Sorensen is (Amy is AMAZING!) or my BFF, Debbie is (she's also fabulous!) but I sure enjoy stuff like this, and I'm not tooooo bad ... :-}


COLORED PENCILS
Well, not too long ago it was Saturday again ... correction: it was Super Saturday again and I had offered to bring my box of colored pencils for one of our creative projects. Funny how I hadn't touched my colored pencils for several years yet I knew right where they were, stored away with my scrapbooking supplies. I don't know where many of my things reside these days but some things I never lose track of, even when I don't use them for a long time.

Okay, I was happy to share (within reason). On that Saturday I pulled the box out and as I did so I was surprised to find myself inexplicably drawn to that lovely box of brightly colored pencils. Almost longingly drawn. And for goodness' sake, they were just sticks of colored lead! Yet ... I LOVE colored pencils. Always have. For me, a colored pencil goes hand in hand with storytelling and artistic endeavor and coloring inside the lines. I wish I were the kind of wild, adventurous sort who colors with abandon outside the lines but nope, not me. I love the structure of following the rules and filling in the spaces as neatly as possible and creating beauty with color. But I love the tools most of all: the pencils, the crayons, those little oblong tins of water colors with your basic ten colors (and oooohhh if you're lucky, the double sized tins that have all the fun extended hues).

I have a vivid memory of spending grade school recess huddled with my best friend against a wall, creating stories with ... you guessed it, colored pencils. We drew all kinds of stories about little girls who did fun and slightly dangerous things, and who had to be saved by the knight in shining armor (whoever THAT cute boy happened to be at the time). I can still feel the warm wall at my back and the secret fun of sharing what we were writing. Of course it was secret ... we couldn't let anyone read our stories ... horror! At least ... not right then. Then was all about the creating and the giggling together and the colors. Some time later we graduated to something just as wonderful: colored PENS. All together now: ooooohhhh yyyeeaaahhh. Pink and purple and red and turquoise blue and GOLD of all things! Little small pens the size of my index finger that flowed color and made writing and drawing pictures so much fun! I loved those pens as much as I loved the pencils.

My attachment to colored pencils didn't end with grade school, though. As a Tweenie I spent many quiet Sunday afternoons sketching. I had a whole series of pictures of young women from all over the world, dressed in their native costumes. I would sketch them as meticulously and precisely as my young hands could master and then color the pictures with my pencils. I would sit quietly on the bed in the room I shared with my two sisters and take great pleasure in copying the pictures as closely as I could. That same pleasure followed me through high school and even into a few college art classes where I tried to master drawing, watercolor, charcoals. I was never the best of sketchers but you guess it ... I had a killer eye for color. Still do.

So where did this love for coloring tools come from? It's hard to say for sure. Part of it comes from my mom, I know. I remember sitting at the kitchen table as a really little girl, watching my mom do these gorgeous, vivid colorings of Bible stories using crayons. They were intricate and beautiful and I was in awe. I thought my mom was a true artist and I wanted to do something just as detailed someday. I also wanted to help color the pictures but Mom would never let me get my tiny hands on them (I wonder why, ha ha). But my mom's influence is only part of it ... I still find myself inexplicably drawn to every box of colored pencils I see. Perhaps it's the creative potential, perhaps it's the sense of creating something lovely, perhaps it's just the colors themselves! And perhaps I had a peculiar love for the colors that populated the Spirit World, and I brought that attraction with me to my mortal life. That's a particularly nice thought -- I think I'll stick to that one.

Whatever the reasons, I'm glad for this little personality peculiarity. HEY, does anyone have a box of colored pencils I could borrow?

WELL ...

Yep. Well. The elections are over, "the people" have elected a new president ... and I think we're in for it now. Which I guess tells you in a nutshell what my political views are.

I think it's wonderful and historic that we've come far enough in our national thinking to elect a Black man as president -- that's a good, good thing. A woman might have been possible too ... if Hilary hadn't been a Clinton. Which all says something about the progression of our country away from bigotry. However. I wish it could have been someone other than Obama. If Colin Powell had run I'll bet he would have had a huge support among Democrat AND Republican and it still would have been a "historical win." As it is -- we have Obama. My concern is that he is such a liberal man. How could people lose sight of that fact? Or maybe they just don't care. Maybe those who put him into office want that. I recently heard in a quote from one Senate member that Obama was the most liberal man in the Senate.

So I ask you: now what happens? If the Democrats get a filibuster majority (see this link for a discussion on what that means: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/oct/28/us-elections-democrats-senate) then what kinds of laws are we going to see landing on the books? What kinds of judges are going to be elected to the courts in our country? What are businesses going to be forced to do? How far will foreign radicals push the envelope to test this young, unproven president? What will happen if he pulls out American troops in 18 months when our military leaders consistently say the Iraqi government isn't stable enough yet? I worry. I'm trying NOT to worry, but it's hard not to be emotionally affected by this particular election.

The big chant this election has been "Change Change Change." Whoo-hoo. I ask you: Change toward what? How far have you really thought this through?

How do I find the right words? So you get many words ...

[this is a picture-less entry ... but I will be adding them later on ...]

Well I haven't written anything for almost a month ... that can be typical for me ... and yep, that's pretty much how I keep my journal too. I'll do great at journal writing for a short span of time and then I just sort of slow the spinning ... slowwwww ... sloooww ... sssssslllloooowww .... sss stop. You know, I'm ashamed to admit it, but that's the way it is with most of the stuff I attempt in my life. I get going with something new and am very enthusiastic for a while and then I just stop. Oh dear ... that looks like a character flaw looming. (!)

I determined not to leave work tonight until I wrote something down. And then I got to reading my friend, Jamie's blog and was having such a good time and laughed so hard over her sons' super hero Sacrament Meeting, I pretty much ran well into the 6:00 hour. I read many of the blogs from the women in my ward and my out-of-ward friends, and I so enjoy them (Dear Debbie--you got me hooked! I now understand ...). It's getting a bit late and I should get home. But ... I won't. I MUST resist the "quit my new hobby [blogging]" urge! (And Hey - I have GOT to ask Jamie if she minds my linking her blog site here. If she says yes then you MUST go in and read her entry for Sunday, October 26th -- it's HILARIOUS and boy are her sons (Jacob & Mason) creative!!)

Actually there's another reason I haven't written yet. I'm very left-brained and have a hard time doing things out of order. There are lots of things I've wanted to write about but my little anal-retentive mind keeps whispering, "Gotta do it in order - can't get out of order - Gotta write about this first." Sheesh. And I've had a hard time figuring out how to write about this, which happens to be the Big Change that happened in my life (and my dear friend, Linda's life) now almost 3 weeks ago. Well ... in keeping with the driving whisper -- here I go:

Three weeks ago, over General Conference weekend, I was released as Enrichment Counselor in our ward. And Linda was released as Education Counselor. Gratefully, I knew a week ahead of time because Donna (bless her!) felt it would be awful for us to just get a call from the Bishop without some warning up front. She wanted it to come from her -- to talk with us about it first so we would understand. I love her for that. I wouldn't have been able to concentrate one bit on that special, fabulous Conference if I'd been blind-sided by the release. As it was, I had barely recovered from the shock and ensuing rush of feelings when Donna called the week before.

It was indeed a shock, because I had resolved the personal issues that plagued me earlier in the year and had re-dedicated myself to helping the sisters, had begun to see a new vision for where we should head, and felt so SO sure that we were supposed to be in there together -- the 3 Musketeers (Donna, Linda and I) -- to the end. Once the shock receded (slightly) a feeling of sadness and a great, great sense of loss set in. I thought about the women of this ward whom I've grown to love deeply, and my friendship with Linda and Donna (and Donna's secretaries: Barbara and Jennifer) and my four wonderful Enrichment Leaders (Alice Ann, Jamie, Jenie and Corinne), the happiness I've had working with them all, and the joy I've felt in all the many things we've done over the years and I just ... sat there and cried (really sobbed for a while, I must admit), for the loss ... for the change. And funny ... along with those feelings came darker thoughts for a while (get thee hence, you little devils!) ... thoughts like: "I failed; I wasn't good enough for the Lord to keep me in to the end," [and] "I've failed the sisters enough that the Lord has to replace me" [and] "I'm not ready -- I didn't do a good enough job!" I talked to my mom who told me those feelings were natural but they were untrue and were Satan's way of trying to bring me down. It helped to know that.

And then, when I'd had time to reflect I knew it was right. Heck, I've known for some time now that the sisters needed to go in a new direction, and I wasn't the one to take them there. And I was tired -- so tired! Not of the women ... never, never that. But I was running out of ideas and momentum, and I was starting to "get it right" (more or less) when it came to planning and executing. Hah! And isn't that the point where we always get released? When we start to "get it right"? I'd like to tell you something a little shivery too: Donna called Allison to replace me as Enrichment Counselor. When I met Allison and got to know her a few months ago when they moved in, I knew in my bones that she was supposed to replace me. I could feel it somehow. Even "funnier": Allison commented to me a few weeks before this big change that she still hadn't received a calling and she was getting pretty frustrated, and most of the sisters who had moved in after her had already received a calling! And I jokingly told her that she hadn't received a calling yet because she was supposed to replace me. Whew!

So a few of my thoughts and feelings. I can't even begin to express it properly, but here are a few things I wrote down the night Donna called me:

"I can't believe what I'm feeling! I thought I'd be so happy but I'm not. I feel an amazing conflict of emotions. Yes there is an underlying twinge of relief, but overriding that in a huge way is anguish over not getting to work with Donna and Linda anymore (both of whom I love to pieces) and not having responsibility for the sisters anymore (whom I have also deeply loved) and fear over what I'll have to do next and disappointment over not finishing the race and sadness over leaving something that I finally FINALLY have accepted and feel comfortable with! ...

"Over the top of all these other emotions is a deep, deep, overwhelming gratitude to Heavenly Father for this experience. This has been one of the greatest, most soul-stretching experiences of my entire life! And that sounds dramatic, but it's the truth. I have grown in ways I never thought possible and have become (hopefully) such a better person because of it. I have a deeper than ever compassion for people and have learned what it's like to love a whole group of women all at once. I have grown spiritually and oh my gosh! The things I've learned about trusting Heavenly Father!!!! I'm not very good at it yet, but every once in a while I find myself actually believing He will take care of everything. I've had personal witness that He does, through this calling."

And you know what else I've learned over the past almost-four years? Service is sweeeeet. There is such a joy, a satisfaction, a deepening of character when we serve each other. It really can lift us out of dark depths, depression, selfishness, loneliness ... and it teaches us to love more deeply. I think we begin to experience little glimpses of what it's like to mold our character towards the Savior's character. And if we allow ourselves the full ride we begin wanting to help people because we want to and not because we should or we have to. It changes everything when we want to.

I've watched many of the sisters in our ward form lovely friendships, and I'm hoping to have more of those opportunities in the future. I'm also hoping I never lose the friendships I've already formed. I can't believe how good sisterhood can be, and how much I admire the women in our ward. "These are excellent peoples here." And the final nice part? I get to be a Relief Society teacher now!!!!!! Whhheeeee!! I can remember asking the Lord a few months back, "Can't I just take Beverly's place and hand out programs for a while? Or if not, can I teach Relief Society again? I would love that!" I can't believe He actually said YES! I know I probably won't get to teach in Relief Society for a long period of time, but for now ... YES!!!!!

I have pictures I want to post, but will do that later on. Hugs to you all!

I am SO EMBARRASSED!!!! I meant to add a new post with the expanded recipes for Jared & Erica's fabulous Cafe Rio salad (we found the recipes at the following link and expanded them to serve 50 women, for our Super Saturday last October:

http://jaredanderica.blogspot.com/2007/11/cafe-rio-salad-with-shredded-sweet-pork.html. I hope that linked - I'm having some trouble with that tonight. Here are the recipe breakdowns:

JARED & ERICA’S
CAFÉ RIO SALAD WITH SHREDDED SWEET PORK

http://jaredanderica.blogspot.com/2007/11/cafe-rio-salad-with-shredded-sweet-pork.html

THESE ARE THE RECIPES EXPANDED TO SERVE 50 PEOPLE (hopefully)
(expanded by Geneva Heights 5th Ward, Utah)

SWEET PORK [for 50 people we made 8 batches]16 pounds pork24 cans Coke (NOT diet) [we, the 5th Ward used 7-up instead]10 cups8 dashes garlic salt2 cups water8 cans sliced green chilies6 cans enchilada sauce (I used Old El Paso brand, medium spiciness)8 cups brown sugarPut the pork in several heavy duty ziploc bags to marinade. Add about 12 cans of coke/7-up and about 2 cups of brown sugar. Marinade for a few hours or overnight.Drain marinade and put pork, 4 cans of coke/7-up, water, and garlic salt in several crock pots or two large meat cookers and cook on high for about 3-4 hours (or until it shreds easily, but don't let it get TOO dry). Remove pork from crock pot and drain any liquid left in the pot. Shred pork.In a food processor or blender, blend cans Coke/7-up, chilies, enchilada sauce and remaining brown sugar (about 8 cups -- you can add a little more or less to taste). If it looks too thick, add more Coke/7-up little by little.Put shredded pork and sauce in crock pot[s] and cook on low for 2 hours. That's it! CILANTRO-LIME RICE [for 50 people we made 9 batches]9 cups uncooked rice3 tablespoons butter or margarine18 cloves garlic, minced3 tablespoons freshly squeezed lime juice9 cans (15 oz) chicken broth9 cups water9 tablespoons freshly squeezed lime juice6 tablespoons sugar1 & 1/2 cups plus 3 tablespoons fresh chopped cilantroIn a saucepan combine rice, butter, garlic, 3 tablespoons lime, chicken broth and water. Bring to a boil. Cover and cook on low 15-20 minutes, until rice is tender. Remove from heat. In a small bowl combine the 9 tablespoons of lime juice, sugar and cilantro. Pour over hot cooked rice and mix in as you fluff the rice.
BLACK BEANS [for 50 people we made 13 batches, but it was a little too soupy. We recommend cutting back on the tomato juice – about 1/2 the amount]1 & 1/2 cups plus 2 tablespoons olive oil26 cloves garlic, minced1/4 cup plus 1 teaspoon ground cumin13 cans black beans, rinsed and drained17 cups plus 1/3 cup tomato juice [try something like 8 to 9 cups instead]6 tablespoons plus 1/2 teaspoon salt1 & 1/2 cups plus 2 Tbsp. fresh chopped cilantroIn a nonstick skillet, cook garlic and cumin in olive oil over medium heat until you can smell it. Add beans, tomato juice, and salt. Continually stir until heated through. Just before serving stir in the cilantro. (**JARED & ERICA NOTE** we added a can of corn, drained, to the beans with a dash of cumin and chili powder, it was AWESOME! We recommend doing this even though it's not "traditional Cafe Rio")CILANTRO RANCH [We made only 2 batches for our 50 people but it wasn’t NEAR enough. Everyone loved the dressing and wanted a lot, and we ran out. We recommend at least doubling and probably tripling the recipe – 6 batches. The calculations below are for 6 batches]6 packets TRADITIONAL Hidden Valley Ranch mix (not BUTTERMILK)6 cups mayonnaise6 cups buttermilk12 tomatillos, remove husk, diced3 bunches of fresh cilantro6 cloves garlicjuice of 6 limes5-6 jalapenos (we like it SPICY so we kept the seeds in it, if you like it mild, just remove the seeds)Mix all ingredients together in the blender. That’s it!JARED & ERICA’S INSTRUCTIONS: ’K so now to make it all PERFECT... Here is how we put it all together: First of all, we bought the aluminum deep-dish pans (they had these at the grocery store, you will know when you see them … they look JUST like the Cafe Rio tins). Lay a tortilla in the bottom of the pan, sprinkle cheese on it, and put in the oven at 375 for about 5 minutes or until the cheese is melted. Remove from oven, add beans, rice, pork, then lettuce (we used the leafy green lettuce) and a little scoop of diced tomato and onions (pico de gallo). We made up some guacamole and put some of that on the salad (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED). We also added a little spoonful of sour cream. Add some crushed tortilla chips (we have yet to find the little tortilla strips), a shake of Parmesan cheese, and top with a few cilantro leaves. Serve with the cilantro ranch dressing and there you have it!ERICA’S WEBSITE NOTE: It really is easier than it looks. It only took me about an hour to make (after the pork was in the crock pot). The rice and beans are SUPER easy -- you definitely want the beans and rice to get the whole experience! Also, be generous with the cilantro. Try it and let me know what you think! I KNOW you won't be disappointed!

Super Saturday - I'm so glad we did it

A few weeks ago (gosh, almost a month ago already!) we had a nice Super Saturday for our ward -- at least I thought it was nice! Hah! I'll bet we're the only ward in the area still having them. Or so it seems. :-) Everyone I talked to outside of our ward said things like, "You're having that?! We haven't had one of those in a long time" or, "Wow we don't do those anymore" or even, "Hmmm, it might be fun to do one of those again ... someday ..." Haha. Yes it WAS a lot of work and yes I suppose it's not the current trend for Relief Society Enrichment activities, but we had enough sisters ask about having one that we felt it was the right thing to do ... for us ... for this time around anyway.

You know, this was my fourth Super Saturday as Enrichment Counselor. Fourth! It's funny because every year leading up to the event I and my Leader(s) have said, "No No! It's too much work. Do we have to?! [whine whine]" And every time we've been glad we did it. It's great seeing the positive response from the sisters and experiencing their enjoyment ... especially enjoyment of the time spent with each other. So worth it -- so worth every bit of effort and time spent. I love these women and I love seeing them delight in each other's company and the projects. AND of COURSE the LUNCH!!!!!!!!! Mmmmmmmmm.

This year we had to work very fast to get it pulled off, because I screwed up and didn't begin working with Corinne (my Enrichment Leader) and drawing together a committee and start planning until way too late in the summer. Our regular little Enrichment Committee had pretty much dwindled down to one or two and Corinne felt impressed to not officially call a new Commitee, but invite sisters who were interested to assist. As always, the sisters who helped were AWESOME. We have such wonderful, responsible women in our ward! It was the same with our past committee members: I could always count on them to do their part, and they always did. I never felt that I could thank them deeply enough for their help. I hope they know how much I loved and appreciated their sacrifices. And I felt the same with our little group this time too. AND I felt the same for those who wanted to help and planned to help (like Jenie) but whose lives just didn't allow for it this time.

I think the sisters who came had a good time ... I hope they did. I listened to the laughter and the conversations floating around the room, and felt a warmth and a goodness. It felt like we were enjoying each other's company, and some were getting to know each other better. I wish I had remembered my camera ... that was my one regret: no pictures. :-( Well, that and the fact that I couldn't free up the committee sisters so they could do crafts themselves, and also I felt soooo bad about getting the wrong thing for the Scrubbies!!!! (Sorry Sisters - it was supposed to be tulle and wasn't it a shock when we opened the box and discover I had ordered nylon netting instead! If you were wondering why your fingers were sore and it was too hard to crochet the stuff ... that's why. Oh Dear!)

Well I'd like to share our craft lineup with you (see all the pictures off the side here, too), but before I do that I want to tell you about LUNCH. Ab-so-lute-ly YUMMMMMMYYYYY!!! (In my humble opinion.) And I am SUPREMELY grateful to "Jared and Erica" (Walker) for their amazing recreation of Cafe Rio's "Salad with Sweet Pulled Pork." They posted it online -- we found it -- we decided it would be an excellent lunch. And then (bless her!) Donna was willing to take over the preparation for it. It was almost too much to figure out and gather up (we had to expand it to cover 50 people) but I'm so grateful she hung in there. Because I'm tellin' ya, that was some good eats. You really should try it out at home -- you'll love it. Here's the link to their website and the recipes ('cause you sort of combine several): http://jaredanderica.blogspot.com/2007/11/cafe-rio-salad-with-shredded-sweet-pork.html. But let me just say that we altered it a little bit: we didn't add near the amount of cilantro they suggested, and we didn't end up toasting the tortillas first. And we didn't add corn. Hmmmm ... if you ever want to serve this to a large group, maybe you could benefit from having the amounts we used. I was going to add that but I haven't gotten the numbers from Donna. I promise to get those and post them later on, for those who might be interested. (I promise! And not a year from now either, as I'm wont to do ...)

I think everyone enjoyed the lunch very much and it turned out to be a good choice for a coolish-warm, somewhat cloudy mid-September day.

I was pleased with the project lineup too, and I so hope that the sisters who were interested in them were satisfied. Here's what we decided to do:

*(1)* "Dinner & Dessert" in a jar. We offered two different dry soups ("Love Soup" which was beans & lentils & rice & seasonings and "Yummy Turkey Soup") and ingredients for two different cookies: "Orange Drop Cookies" and "M&M Cookies." We filled mason jars with the dry ingredients and covered the tops with plaid fabric. Allison had the ingredients all lined up along the tables buffet style and it was pretty quick & easy to put them together. And my but all the seasons & spices sure smelled good! If anyone is interested in reviving this trend for gifts, there are a LOT of recipes online for "gift basket goodies." I just googled "gift jar recipes" and found multiple sites. Here are some interesting ones to try:

** http://members.tripod.com/~HeresPoo/index.html
** http://www.razzledazzlerecipes.com/christmas/gifts/index.htm
** http://organizedchristmas.com/index-gifts-in-a-jar
** http://www.geocities.com/giftsinajar/

*(2)* Homemade Christmas cards using ink stamps, scrapbook paper and embellishments. Allison had several charming designs for the cards.

*(3)* Scrubbies! Linda helped teach us how to make these fabulous little wonders. You know, I had NO idea what a Scrubbie even was until several sisters begged Linda to teach them how to crochet them, and we decided it would be good for Super Saturday. I was curious and looked them up online and was floored by how many websites were out there dedicated to them. Wow! But as one person said, you can't get them anywhere but from someone's hands or at a boutique show. They scrub everything really well ... even your potatoes. If we ever do this again though I will make sure IT'S THE TULLE we use! Here's just one link and it has tons of cool patterns for them: http://www.crochetpatterncentral.com/directory/scrubbers.php. Also here's a link for a wonderful place to buy the tulle (and netting) -- this is the place we used and her prices are very good: http://www.knitsandbitsbylinda.com/Scrubbers.html.

*(4)* Candace put together the most adorable muffin tin advent calendar. http://www.flickr.com/photos/8242509@N06/1855132457/ We used the 24-count tins and each little muffin hole was covered by a scrapbooked square which attached with magnets. In the holes you can put in little notes, or a scripture, or treats or even suggestions for things your family can do each day during December. Hah -- this one just snowballed! At first there were only about 5 of us planning to make them, but as the sisters saw how cute they were more and more wanted to make them. The cost was highest for this: $15.00 because of the muffin tin (well, the supplies turned out to be more expensive than we expected too). I only included the link for one from the Internet - it's very nice but personally I think Candace's is even better. When I get mine made I'll put a picture out for you to see.

*(5)* Becky handled an adorable project we enlisted from a nice site online: Bath Salt Sundaes http://www.sugardoodle.net/Christmas/Sundae%20Bath%20Salts.shtml. We modified ours though: we used Calgon instead of homemade bath salts or plain Epsom salt (didn't want to turn anyone's tub a funny color!), and our colors were blue and green and I think purple instead of pink. We couldn't find the little bath beads anywhere (the cherry on top) so we opted for straws instead. The resulting "Sundaes" were much nicer than the picture I have in this blog -- the one above was our demo and we found better, more sundae-like cups at the Baskin Robbins Ice Cream shop later on. Still, this gives you the idea, no? The Sundae is made up of layers of bath salt, powdered milk, baking soda, a scrubber, and then the bath bead (if you can find them) or a straw for effect. We also put a layer of plastic wrap between the powdery stuff and the scrubber, to keep everything intact. Hey, Milk powder and baking soda, you say?! Yes indeed! They give your bath a luxurious feel and milk powder is good for the skin, did you know that? :-)

*(6)* Christmas stories in a notebook. This was sort of another take on an advent calendar, and I got it from my friend, Karen who did them in her Relief Society a few years ago. We had 24 divider pages (one for each day of December) that included a scripture, a song, and a xeroxed picture that you could color and glue in, and then there is a story to read each day. Karen was kind enough to share the whole book with us so we didn't have to go looking for our own stories or scriptures. They used Precious Moments pictures, but we offered both those and more traditional coloring pictures for those who didn't care for Precious Moments. I think they're very nice and I hope our sisters were happy with them.

*(7)* Hemp or seed bead bracelets and chokers. Our last project -- and the one I handled. :-) We only had a few people doing these but it was so much fun working on them together. I got them started by crimping on the "findings" (the clasps) and the sisters did their own designing and stringing. They were really nicely done. We had Patrice B.'s daughters involved and they were fun -- lots of interest and good energy from those girls! I couldn't keep up with everyone though -- I was surprisingly slower at getting those findings on than I expected. Well it didn't help that I kept distracting myself by collecting money or handling a few managerial things or talking and not working. Hah! They were all very patient with me.

When the day was done I felt the same happiness and satisfaction I felt after each of the other Super Saturday's I've been involved in. It was a nice day. There is a bonding between women that is unique to the female sect ... I think we need that connection with each other. And I think when we have those association opportunities it brings a necessary richness to our lives. It's something we should seek out and foster, don't you agree?

I had the wonderful opportunity of seeing my nephew, Jared receive his Endowments in the Timpanogos Temple Thursday evening. What a privilege and an honor it was to be a witness to that sacred gift. I have nothing but the greatest admiration for Jared and the path he has chosen for his life. He and his sweetheart, Camilla were married a year ago (already!) and at the time he promised her that he would get his life together and take her to be Sealed a year from their marriage. He has kept his word to her and Thursday was his preparation step. They are now scheduled to be sealed in the Provo Temple just a couple of days before Thanksgiving, and won't that be a fun Holiday for our family! :-)

My brother-in-law Frank had the opportunity to be Jared's escort at the Temple (meaning he assisted Jared through all the Initiatory and Endowment steps) and my sisters Sue, Nancy and I plus Camilla's uncle and their home teacher went through the session with them. I was thinking about it while sitting in the chapel waiting to begin -- how there are many things in this world that bring us happiness and delight, but this ... this brought deep, deep joy. It's difficult to describe adequately, the richness and fullness of the feeling. But it's real and abiding and profound. Connecting us together as families -- that is the most important thing in and out of this world, I believe.

Afterwards while we were in the Celestial Room I asked Jared how he felt about his experience, and he said he felt peaceful ... right. And Camilla -- sweet Camilla! We learned the depth of her feelings when she was first escorted into the Chapel before the Endowment began. When she sat down next to Jared, she burst into tears. Oh man! Both Nancy and I were sitting behind them and of course we both cried. What a sweet and touching moment.

So yet again ... I have experienced another really, really good day.

Remembering my Dad

Today is my Dad's birthday ... well, it was his birthday ... well it still IS his birthday, on this side of the Veil. In Sarah Menet's near-death experience book, "There Is No Death" (http://www.thereisnodeath.com) she talks about there being another celebration in the spirit-world: the day we cross back over when we die. She mentions what it's called but I can't remember at the moment (Ack! Brain Cell Loss strikes again). They celebrate their "rebirth" into the Spirit World like we celebrate our birth here into the Mortal World. It made me wonder if my dad now celebrates two special days: his mortal life birthday and his death-day Spirit World birthday? If so, I guess he can choose the age he wants to be: 85 years old or 1-1/2 years old. Hah! Here are a couple of pictures I scanned:


(Sorry about the big white space - I'm not a pro scanner, as you can see.)

I can't believe it's already been 1-1/2 years since my dad passed away (December 2006). Since today is his earthly birthday I've been thinking a lot about him -- missing him and wondering about how he is. That's one of the hardest things about this necessary earthly Veil -- we don't get to visit with our loved ones in the Spirit World (unless we're darn lucky). I wonder, what is he doing now? Who is he associating with? Does he spend time with my husband, Nathan and his family or with past friends and other family members? What about people he knew in this life? Does he get to spend much time with them? Is he on a mission, teaching people about the Gospel (which he so dearly wanted to do again in this life) or is he in school, learning new things? Questions ... I have sooo many questions! But I DEFINITELY don't want to go through the associated pain that would accompany a near-death experience so I'll have to content myself with waiting until it's my turn to cross over (which I have to admit I hope is a long time away - I love this earth life).

(That one picture above of Dad and his family entitled "The Musician" is during the Depression ... they traveled as a family orchestra around the West -- Dad was 5-8 years old and he played the trumpet, led the family and sang. One of my greatest regrets is that I didn't interview he or my Grandma better (and soon enough) to get quality information about this unusual experience. There were many families who did this and I should have written an article on it, during my college years.)

I've also been thinking about what a GOOD man my dad was (and is). He was never a flashy or high-profile man, but one of the Lord's "worker bees" who always did what he was asked to do, always stayed true to his values, and always stood stead-fast in the Gospel. Of course he had some negative points too ... he could be stubborn and sometimes emotionally remote. But that's okay - that's what made him human. Negatives are part of us, yes? One of the greatest things my dad taught me was to love my ancestors and be proud of my heritage. He consistently told me, "Always remember that you are a Daughter of God, and you are a Rich" (and of course Iverson & Workman & Alldredge too). My direct great-great (-great?) grandfather is Charles C. Rich and my other family lines go way back to the beginnings of the church also. It wasn't a boastful or prideful thing for my dad -- it meant that I had a heritage of good people behind me and I should live equal to my ancestors. AND I should never forget about them. I often worry about getting my act together and doing more family history work. Who is missing that needs to be linked in?

My dad was also a great example to me of courage and perseverance. He never made a lot of money and he changed careers three times: first as a barber, then as a welder, then as a full-time custodian for our church building. But there was usually enough to care for us properly and to keep ice cream in the house. OF COURSE! Who could live without ice cream?! And he LOVED the 4th of July and any celebration. He wanted birthday cakes and cards and presents and all the Christmas trimmings clear up until he wasn't able to function, and then I'll bet you anything he was longing to be a part of the celebrations even when he couldn't communicate that to us.

Dad bore his "last-years illness" with great dignity. I always thought it was terribly ironic that my dad would be so healthy his whole life (hardly even a cold) and then be hit with such a terribly debilitating illness such as PSP (Progressive supra-nuclear palsy) [http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/psp/psp.htm] ... sheesh. But even while my dad's body shut down and he moved towards immobility, he bore the whole experience with humor and grace and rarely, RARELY complained. I learned a lot watching my mom and dad go through this experience. Who knows, he may have complained loudly to himself, but I never heard it much. (I, on the other hand am a vociferous complainer - one of MY negatives.) Dad had some pretty cool guardians from the Spirit World too: during those final years he consistently saw four girls in white who would come and be nearby. He would be sitting at the dining room table and would suddenly say, "Well there go the 4 girls! They're leaving now" ... or he'd make other references out of the blue about them. I truly believe that they were assigned to help him through this experience. I can't wait to meet them and find out who they were (and say thank you). I think there were lots of family members from the Spirit World who helped my dad through his illness ... you should see some of the family pictures we've taken -- LOTS of orbs in the pictures sometimes! I'll have to find my favorite picture and post it in someday -- it's a picture my brother, Scott took one Christmas where a bunch of us were in the front room playing a board game and just laughing away. The picture is filled with orbs. It's really something.

Well I'm rambling ... and my lunch hour is over (way over). I just wanted to say that I'm so grateful for my dad, for what he taught me and for his steadfastness and surety in Gospel truths. He taught me everything I needed to bring me great happiness and put me on a good course, and I love him very much. I hope he's celebrating today in the Spirit World! And I hope he gets a HUGE cake to eat!


(My dad - surrounded by some of his sketched cartoons)

WHOOO-HOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES YES YES!!!! We heard from our vet today and he told us that the pathologist found NO CANCER in Brizzy's biopsy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHEEEEEEE!!!

Who says prayers don't work?!

Of course he did add the caveat that it's possible there's something deeper in Brizzy's bone that wasn't reached, so we're not totally out of the woods yet. BUT we choose to think that the Lord has decided we could keep our little woof around for a while longer. He'll be on strong antibiotics for another week and then we'll see what's next ... another biopsy, or something else.

But for today ... TODAY is a GOOD DAY!!!!!

We soldier on

Well there are lots of other things I want to write about (Super Saturday will be next!) and oh my goodness! I'm really behind the times in creative stuff I can do with this blog (I can't believe some of the cool stuff I'm seeing on you, my friends' blogs), but right now our sweet little Brizzy is still very heavily on my mind. So here's a quick update before I head on home (and to bed):

We haven't gotten The Word yet on the biopsy - still waiting. We are both hopeful and anxious and I'm not sure if "no news is good news" as Ruth keeps saying, or if no news means "We are reticent about calling and giving you the bad news." We keep hoping for good news though. The Briz has been given a pain reprieve thanks to all of the wonderful prayers offered on his behalf, the power of the Priesthood, and the "quiet" he's been forced to endure (lots of staying in the house, no running, jumping, etc.). Even getting into the car for some rides has been easier thanks to our wonderful Home Teacher, Brother Bennett who came over and cut some board down for us to use as a ramp from ground to car seat. Ruth glued carpet down onto one of the boards and it's worked like a charm.

Ever since last week when everyone began praying in earnest for Brizzy and some of Heavenly Father's power was offered on his behalf, the little woof has acted almost like his normal self. It was evident the pain had receded and he felt better. He even wanted to play. It's been such a gift and I have felt deeply grateful. Today he's hurting a bit again, though not too bad (I hope). He certainly did attempt to exert his independence though when I got home! Hah. He has had enough of our crazy rules. Here he is -- Brizzy making a statement:

"Hmpfh, make me stay in that house any longer?! I don't think so! I'll just show you by going into MY house to work on my basement for a while." (Notice how a tree has taken over the next-door apartment? Gotta pull that baby outa there someday ...)
"Okay, let's get some good dig on!"
"And I'm just going to sit here for a minute ..." (you can't see him very well, but he's in there) ...
"And it's hard with this darn foot, but I'll just dig a little bit more because I want to."
"Okay, enough of that. NOW I'm going around to the back yard and don't you try to stop me!"
"And to REALLY make a point, I'm sitting myself down right here and not budging."
Even when I tried to coax him with "Go for a ride?!" He wasn't havin' it. He just sat there and looked at me as if to say, "I dare you." I finally got him with food though. He's always up for "Want a treat?!" (Thank goodness for peanut butter and carrots!!!!!) And THEN we went for that ride. Cowboy was going manic -- we had to.

A side note: You may think Ruth and I are a little crazy, but we've chosen to use everything we can think of at our disposal, to help Brizzy. We have even visited a natureopathic (is that a word?) healer-lady who reads irises, and who gave us a very interesting regime of homeopathic products to follow. AND I wire-wrapped two stones for the Briz to wear. See this?

That's amethyst and lapis lazuli. Both are healing stones and have very positive vibrations. Okay I know, that's just waayyy weird (to some). But hey, everything on this earth is made up of the same protons, neutrons and electrons, true? It makes perfect sense to me that the electrons in stones could vibrate to the same frequency as some of our cells and generate energy. Why not? In the end, isn't that how we utilize food energy? At any rate, I agree with the iris-lady who said that the Lord has given us all the tools we need on this earth to take care of ourselves. I have learned that the power of prayer and the power of the Priesthood are the greatest of all and should be our main focus, but there's nothing wrong with utilizing some of these other tools as well. I plan to add rose quartz and citrine very soon, too. And you want to know something odd? I was recently drawn to all four of those stones (the two in the above picture and the two I'll be adding) at a recent gem show. I just had to get them. Who knows? Maybe it was a foreshadow of my need for them. Or maybe I just got lucky. All I know is I'm happy to add them to the arsenal. :-) Sweet Brizzy aside, I do love gemstones. I've always been drawn to them.

A Horrifying Possibility

We had some terrible, terrible news on Tuesday evening. Here we thought we were only dealing with arthritis in Brizzy's shoulder and maybe a pinched nerve, and instead our vet told us he was 80% sure our sweet little woof has ... I can hardly write the words ... bone cancer. The horrible C-word. I'm a mess -- Ruth's a mess -- it's too awful to believe.

It came on so fast. Only just a few weeks ago Briz was fine and then the next day he was limping a little. When it didn't improve we took him to our vet who diagnosed arthritis ... understandable since when you lift Brizzy's leg you can hear the little click-click in his leg. He gave Briz a cortizone shot for the pain and sent him home with a full array of drugs, and told us we had to keep Brizzy quiet (QUIET!!) for three flippin' weeks. THREE WEEKS?! What was he, nuts?! You tell me how to prevent an Aussie-Healer from running, barking, jumping, etc. for any length of time?! Hah. And this for a dog who doesn't even know the meaning of the word "crate" or "cage". THAT was not an option, obviously. Instead Ruth and I worked out an elaborate system: the bank is letting her take 2 vacation days a week and for the other 3 days I'm working 4 hours, going home for the afternoon, then going back to work in the evening for 4 more hours after Ruth gets home. For the 4 hours I'm at work we have to keep the Boyz locked up in the house and pray they'll be peaceful, be able to "hold it," etc. Not easy, but we're all dealing with it. Brizzy thinks we're crazy -- especiall when we make him go into his own front yard on a leash (of all things).

This picture is of the spot where they shaved Briz and gave him the cortizone shot. Looks bad, but boy was he feeellliinnn' guuuddd when the shot took full effect. I wish it had lasted ... only two weeks later and he's hurting pretty badly again.

On Tuesday morning I noticed that Brizzy was completely dragging his front paw, and that really worried us. Ruth took him back in to our vet and this time he took an x-ray. Some of the bone has been eaten away ... a pretty deadly sign. But he said it's possible he could be wrong -- it could be a bacterial infection like Cowboy had last year and miracles do happen, yes? Prayers are powerful things. Maybe it will turn out to be an infection, or if it is cancer maybe the Lord will be merciful and will stop it from metastacizing, and maybe there'll be something we can do for his quality of life and he can stay with us a couple more years ... Maybe, Maybe, Maybe ...

I hate the idea of Brizzy having cancer. He is such a sweet, SWEET dog. I especially hate the realization that he is hurting. And I can't even bear the thought of him not being here for much longer. I am really struggling with this. For any of you who may think it's slightly silly to love an animal this much, let me just say that ... well, I hope you don't think like that. It is absolutely possible to love these marvelous beings as deeply as we do a child, a friend, a family member -- and losing them can be just as deep a hurt. At this point (as I told a friend), I'm trying to prepare for the worst while hoping and praying for the best. Pray for a miracle! Or if there isn't supposed to be a miracle, I'd appreciate your prayers for strength.